Advice from EroSennin
by Codename-ShadowFox
Summary: Naruto had just completed his Toad summonin training and while walking through the village, Jiraiya gives him some advice.
1. Forget about Pinky!

**AN - **Yo! I was trying to think of something to write for chapter 11 of Gift and a Curse but I sorta got stuck, so I tried thinking of something else and this is what popped up! I could probably make a nice short-story out of this so I went ahead and posted it for the fun of it.

**Disclaimer - **I still don't own Naruto, stop rubbing it in FFS.

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**Advice from Ero-Sennin**

"I'm glad were finally done with the summoning training! That was pretty hard!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yup, now you got the rest of this month until the chuunin finals to find yourself a little girlfriend to cheer you on."

"G-Girlfriend... Yeah! I'll go ask Sakura-chan if she wants to go out on a date!"

"Don't."

"Huh?"

"Give up on that girl."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Sakura, your teammate right? Give up on her now, while you have the chance."

"No! I love Sakura-chan!"

"No you don't."

"Ero-sennin I'm telling you I love her."

"No Naruto, listen to me Sakura is all wrong for you kid."

"What? Sakura-chan is the greatest! You don't know what you're talking about Ero-sennin!"

"Fine then, tell me what you like about her so much."

"Well..."

"Yeah?"

"Well she's Sakura!"

"What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what else do you like about her?"

"Well... she's uh... really smart?"

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what else you moron?"

"Hey! I'm not a moron, you're a moron!"

"Just answer the damn question brat!"

"Fine. Oh and she's really good at chakra control."

"What else?"

"Uh..."

"Two things... you can only think of two things that you like about her?"

"NO! There's also... and umm... well she... uhh..."

"Face it kid, you don't actually love her. You might be infatuated with her for some reason but you definitely don't love her."

"Infatuated?"

"Yeah. Tell me, what about her physically do you like?"

"Her hair. It's pink."

" Anything else?"

"Umm... not really."

"OK... so you're into exotic stuff eh? I suppose that would be a valid reason for a hormone raging teen-age boy like yourself to think you might be in love with her."

"What do you mean exotic stuff?"

"Well think about it, how many other girls or even people do you see with pink hair? Not a lot huh? You find that unique and sexy about her, but as soon as you stop fixating yourself on her, you will find out that in the ninja world unique is a dime a dozen. What with kekkei genkai and other neon versions of hair colors and girls usually dressing in less clothes so as not to restrict movement... god I love being a ninja."

"So what should I do?"

"First off, forget about Sakura. She's all kinds of wrong for you."

"B-But I lo-"

"Don't say it!"

"But!"

"No! I'm telling you right now from experience kid, don't go chasing tail you can't catch. She's fixated on the Uchiha and fangirls that deep to the core are hard to break. Go after someone more open-minded or at least someone you wont try to pummel you into the ground after you say good morning."

"That was only twice!"

"Listen kid, that kind of relationship doesn't last. Unless of course being a masochist is another of your fetishes. Honestly now that I think back on it, judging from the way you fight I wouldn't rule that out."

"I don't have fetishes!"

"Just because you refuse to acknowledge them doesn't mean they aren't there."

"W-Well even if I did, you said it yourself, I'm into pink hair."

"Is it real though? For all you know It's dyed."

"Huh?"

"I'm just saying that maybe the carpet doesn't match the drapes."

"Carpet... what? Were talking about Sakura here not... interior decorating"

"Hehe. Kid there's only one kind of 'interior decorating' that I do and it has nothing to do with housekeeping. Bowchickawowwow."

"Is everything a sex joke with you?"

"How did you know it was a sex joke?"

"Everything you end with bowchickawowwow is one. And you tend to do it a lot."

"Bowchikawowwow."

"What? That one didn't even... wow... really?"

"Hehe, I do tend to do **IT** a lot."

"Why do I even talk to you about this kind of stuff?"

"Because I am the master, young grasshopper."

"Master of being a complete ass."

"The bullshit is strong with this one." Jiraya pointed to himself.

"Whatever Darth Pervious."

"So what are you going to do now kid?"

"Well I'm going to try to find Hinata."

"The Hyuuga heiress? Why?"

"Well she has those white eyes. I always thought they looked really nice but I never said anything because I thought I might ruin my chances with Sakura. Plus Hinata is really nice and I can actually think of a lot of things that I like about her that I couldn't about Sakura."

"Heh I knew you were into exotic stuff, and It's good that you'll at least attempt to find someone other that Suckura."

"Sakura."

"That's what I said, Suckura."

"No you're saying Suckura. Her name is Sakura."

"Suckura... Sakura. Yeah, not really noticing the difference kid."

"Whatever. I'll see you later Ero-sennin."

"Later, and stop calling me that!"

"Now to find me a white-eyed princess."

Little did he know, Hinata was watching him the whole time, and due to the Byakugan she was able to read their lips during the conversation. _Naruto-kun likes my eyes? And he's looking for me instead of Suckura? _Steeling her resolve she jumped a few blocks ahead so as not to look like she was following him. _I need to make this work! If Naruto-kun is willing to give me a chance, I won't mess it up!_

Naruto just kept walking down the street not really paying attention to where he was going. "I wonder where Hinata would be at this time of day? Oh yeah! She might still be at the hospit-" He was interrupted as someone bumped into him. "Hey watch where you're go- Hinata!"

"G-Gomen N-Naruto-kun."

"Huh? Oh don't worry about it, I bumped into you. Anyway I wanted to ask you something."

"R-R-Really? Wh-What is it N-Naruto-kun?"

"Umm..." He rubbed the back of his neck and gave a sheepish smile "Are you busy tomorrow?"

"N-No, why Na-Naruto-kun?"

"Well umm... I wanted to see if you..." Naruto mumbled the last part.

"S-Sorry what was that N-Naruto-kun?"

"I wanted to know if you uh... wanted to have lunch or something tomorrow?"

"A-Ano. S-Sure that would be n-nice Naruto-kun"

"Oh cool. Umm so want to meet up about 1 at Ichiraku's?"

"Th-That sounds great."

"Awesome. I'll see you then."

O-Okay." Hinata calmly walked in the opposite direction before turning a corner and sprinting towards the Hyuuga compound. _I... I did it! I finally have a date with Naruto-kun and I didn't pass out while talking to him. _

She made it to the main family home and entered her room, before everything hit her all at once. _What should I wear? Naruto-kun only asked me out to lunch so I can't wear anything too fancy like a kimono, and if I wear my ninja clothes he might think I'm too lazy to even try looking good for him... ahh what do I do, what do I do!_

Hinata oblivious to Hanabi's presence continued to pace back and forth in her room before hearing a tiny giggle. Hanabi was leaning against the doorway giggling to herself at her sister.

"Something wrong sister?"

"H-Hanabi? Did you need something?"

"No but it looks like I'm disrupting a very important mental battle."

"You have no idea."

"Tell me, sister."

"I... finally have a date with Naruto."

"So you finally asked him eh?"

"Well no... he asked me."

"That's a good thing then, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"If he asked you out then he's at least interested in you, so I don't understand why you're freaking out about that."

"No it's not that, It's just... you see Naruto asked me out to lunch tomorrow but I'm not sure if he meant it as a date or just lunch. I obviously can't wear a kimono because I doubt he will be dressed up, and I'm not sure if I should wear my mission clothes in case he considers it a date."

"So wear casual clothes."

"I uh... don't have any."

"What?"

"I don't have any. I never really liked shopping all that much so I only have a few kimono for formal events and my mission clothes."

"Sister... you're hopeless."

"I know..."

"Ugh, I wasn't being serious."

"O-Oh."

"You really need to work on those self-confidence issues. From what you tell me, Naruto practically radiates the stuff so take a few lessons from him. I'm sure after a while of being close to him, you will get some second-hand confidence"

"Second-hand confidence?"

"Yeah like cancer from second-hand smoke!"

"C-Cancer?"

"Yup Naruto will give you confidence cancer!"

"Ahh..."

"I'm joking again... seriously Hinata you need to calm down. Take a chill pill or something?"

"Chill pill? Do they have those?"

"..."

"..."

"Was that a serious question?"

"I... uhh... n-no?"

"Hopeless..." Hanabi just palmed her face.

"I know..." Hinata said as she looked down.

"Well... get your purse, we're going shopping."

"Huh?"

"You need some casual clothes right? Then were going shopping so I can make sure you get something flattering instead of the bulkiest stuff you can find. Oh and no sweater. If you take that thing with you on your date, I'll personally set it on fire when you get home."

"Ah!" Hinata had a flustered look on her face now.

Hanabi just chuckled before shaking her head. "You are just too easy to mess with, sister. It's gotten to the point where It's almost like kicking a defenseless puppy."

"P-Please Hanabi-chan, don't joke around like that!"

*Sigh* "Whatever, just get your purse and meet me outside." Hanabi said before leaving Hinata's room.

_I Hope Hanabi can help me look good for my date with Naruto-kun... if not I might just lose him again to Suck... er... Sakura._

At the thought of loosing her chance, Hinata grabbed her purse and rushed out the door.

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**AN - **If you guys liked it leave a little review and if I see that it has a fanbase growing then I'll update it faster. Next chapter will be the date.

**_~Shadowfox_**


	2. Gear up!

**AN - **I know I said this chapter was supposed to be the date, but I changed my mind so deal with it! =D

**Disclaimer - **I still haven't claimed the right to call the Naruto series mine... *Sigh*

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**Advice from Ero-Sennin: II**

"That went better than expected, usually she turns red and passes out when I try to talk to her. One of these days I need to find a way to cure whatever she's sick from." Naruto said to himself as he continued walking down the street.

"There's only one cure for what she's got kid, and she's got it bad." A gruff voice said from behind him.

"What are you going on about now Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked as he turned to his sensei.

"I'm afraid that girl has type 2 love-sickness." Jiraiya said with feigned seriousness.

"Eh?"

"Nevermind."

"Well, what do you want pervy sage? I thought training was done for today."

"Ninja training sure, but man training... let's just say your guy skills are about a mediocre as your ninja skills. "

"Medicroaker? I have no idea what that word means, but I feel like you just insulted me."

"You can't even spell insulted."

"I-N-S-A-L-T-E-D. Insalted."

"..." Jiraiya just shook his head in disappointment.

"What's with that look?"

"I'm just going to forget the last twenty seconds of our conservation and move on with what I wanted to tell you. Naruto, we're going to go get you some new threads so you don't look like a disfigured orange to your little date."

"First you insalt me and now you're dissing my gear? What's wrong with it?"

"Naruto, by any chance are you colorblind?"

"No?"

"What color are your clothes?"

"Orange with blue, why?"

"Ok just making sure. Now I know that you being an orphan and all, you never had a father to teach you these things but I would have at least thought that not wearing bright, neon, orange would fall under common sense. In assuming this, I have failed you, so I'm going to get you some new clothes to replace those as an apology."

"But I like my clothes!"

"Naruto for your sake as a ninja and for humanity in general, I need to get rid of those eyesores you call clothes."

"Why does everyone hate on the jumpsuit? It's made of durable material, It's was cheap cause it was on clearance when I bought it, and best of all It's orange!"

"Ok how about this? I'll get you new clothes and allow you to keep some orange, but I get to decide where."

"Well It's going to free right? I guess getting some new clothing wouldn't be so bad since you're paying. Alright! That settles it, let's go get me some new clothes!"

**(Meanwhile)**

"Mmm... nah. Try the next set."

"O-Ok."

"Hey Hinata, so did Naruto say you guys were doing anything after lunch, or is he taking off afterwards?"

"I-I'm not sure... Naruto didn't say anything more before I left. He just said to meet him at Ichiraku's at 1PM and that was it." Hinata's voice replied from behind the door.

"I see... well, looks like It's just lunch after all. Guess he's not too interested if all he asked you to was for a bowl at Ichiraku's which he probably would have gotten anyway even if you weren't there. You better step up your game on this date or you might just lose him to that pink-haired banshee you tell me about."

"NEVER!"

"S-Sister?" Hanabi fell off of the chair she was sitting on in surprise from the sudden outburst.

"I-I-I... umm... I mean I don't plan on letting Naruto fall into that harpies' grasp again. Naruto-kun if giving me the chance to win him over, and I'll do just that!"

"That's the spirit! Now get out here so I can get a look at you."

Hinata stepped out in a pair of skinny jeans and a white blouse with the leaf symbol on the front. The jeans were hugging her shapely legs while the blouse showed off her early developing mounds.

*Whistle* "Not bad sister, I think we might have a winner. I'm actually a little jealous..." _I hope mine get that big when I'm twelve... _Hanabi sighed as she looked down straight down at her lap with no obstruction. _I guess her shyness is in place to counteract those things. Kami help us if she ever figures out how to use them._

"I-I don't know Hanabi..." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I f-feel exposed."

"Kami, why do you give them to those who don't want them?" Hanabi quietly asked as she looked up towards the sky.

"Wh-What was that Hanabi?"

*Sigh* "Nothing... just me loosing faith in whether our god is truly fair or not."

"D-Do you want to talk about it?"

"No... you wouldn't understand."

"O-Oh..."

"Whatever, try on the next set. We might as well get you a few outfits while we're here."

"Ok."

**(Back with Naruto)**

"Where are we Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked as the entered a small door after walking down a dark alley.

"This is where I get my clothing custom-made. A spy master like me never reveals anything. Clothing is different by regions and thus could be tracked to a certain one, and associating it with me. So a long time ago I asked the guy who runs this joint if he would custom make my clothing with no tags and such, so this is where we're getting yours also."

"I never would have thought of that..."

"Well you wear orange, I'm pretty sure you never think of a lot of things. On the plus side though, your jumpsuit probably could never be tracked back because whoever made it probably denies It's existence."

"Why do you feel the need to keep insalting my clothes?"

"...salt..." Jiraiya just shook his head. "I do it so that you can learn that orange, even if you weren't a ninja, is a terrible color to wear."

"Whatever." Naruto grumbled out.

"Hey! Tsumaki!"

"Jiraiya?"

"Tsumaki! It's been a while!"

"Yeah... twelve years now. So what do you need? Patch-job or a new set?"

"Actually I'm here to get the kid a new wardrobe."

"Did the rest of his clothing catch fire and he was forced to wear that jumpsuit?"

"No that and six other identical pairs are his everyday clothes."

"...What?"

"He wears that everyday."

"Can you stop talking about me like I'm not here! And stop dissing my gear!" Naruto said in irritation.

"Boy... are you colorblind?"

"WHY DOES EVERYBODY ASK ME THAT?"

"It's a legitimate question kid. I'm pretty sure you're the only one person who has ever thought it would be a good idea to walk around in bright, blinding orange."

*Sigh* "I thought we were here to get me some new clothes, not so I can stand here and be insalted by you two."

"..."

"..."

"Did he just say insalted?" The man behind the desk asked.

"Yeah... try not to think about it too much."

"You're right though kid, we're going to get you some new clothing, and rid the world of your old ones as a service to humanity. Jiraiya, I want you to take all of those jumpsuits and turn them into ash."

"Can do."

"WHAT! YOU WANT TO BURN MY JUMPSUITS?"

"It must be done, kid. Anyway let's get your measurements and I'll have those clothes ready in a week."

"Can you have one set be ready before 1PM tomorrow?"

"Sure, but why before then?"

"Kid's got a date."

"I see... we'll Jiraiya, what colors are we going for?"

"This is going to be his ninja garb as well so let's make it black with the whirlpool on the front of the shirt."

"Sounds good. Want it reinforced?"

"Might as well."

"Anything else?"

"Ero-sennin, you promised there would be some orange!"

"Oh that's right. Give me your headband."

"What?"

"Give me your headband."

"Uh... ok?"

"Tsumaki, can you replace the cloth on this with some of your steel silk and dye it orange?"

"Sure thing." Tsumaki said before stepping into the back of his shop.

"Steel silk?"

"It's what he makes the clothes out of. Theres a special spider that spins silk as tough as steel, and he weaves into cloth, then makes clothing out of it. So that plus the expensive chakra thread to hold it together, makes them incredibly durable, while still being light. It's like wearing steel chain mail but without the added weight."

"Oh... cool! And my new clothes are going to be made of that?"

"Yup."

"Awesome!"

"Oh and Tsumaki! Do you have that coat I ordered, done?"

"Yeah, I have I'll bring it out when I'm done!"

"OK!"

"You had a coat made?"

"Yup. You remember that white coat with the flames on the bottom that the Yondaime wore?"

"Of course! It was super cool!"

"Well I got it made here as a present to him when he first summoned Gamabunta."

"Really?"

"Yup, and to celebrate you summoning Gamabunta and being accepted a toad-summoner I also ordered one for you."

"WHAT? SWEET!"

"Yours is crimson with black flames however. Didn't want it to seem like you were copying the fourth you know."

"Red with black huh? Sounds cool!"

"Hey Jiraiya, want me to add the other symbol? The Namik-"

"NO!" Jiraiya shouted as he jumped over the counter and went into the back. "We'll tell him about the Namikaze symbol when he's ready, until then leave the Fuma shuriken out of all of his clothes."

"You got it. You really should tell the kid though, he deserves to know."

"I know, and it kills me not telling him, but as you can tell he's not exactly the most subtle of people and knowing him he would scream it from the rooftops and Iwa would be at out gates the next day."

"True enough."

"How's the headband coming along?"

"Thirty minutes. Go get the kid some lunch and I'll have it and the coat ready for you."

"Thanks. I'll see you in thirty then."

"Yup."

"C'mon Naruto, let's go get some lunch while he works." Jiraiya said as he jumped back over the counter.

"Great, I'm starved."

**(With Hinata)**

"Great we got you five outfits! Now comes the hard part."

"H-Hard part?"

"Yes... sister, what are you going to talk to Naruto about during your date?"

"Umm... I don't know?"

"Thought so. You see Hinata, you're probably going to be way to shy to start a conversation so Naruto will have to. I've seen him a few times and well... he strikes me as an... and no offence. An Idiot. So whatever he ends up talking to you about will probably be stupid. So you need to strike up a conversation first so you don't end up stuck in one of his idiotic little rants with nothing to contribute."

"While I d-don't appreciate you calling Naruto an idiot... I do see your point."

"Good. Now... while I highly doubt it, do you two have anything in common that you could talk about?"

"Well... we both work really hard, and share the same nindo. I... umm... have acquired a taste for ramen and I'm starting to get used to orange."

"Hinata, no normal person should have to get used to seeing orange that much."

"Well... it suits him."

"You mean because orange is a loud and obnoxious color just like he is?"

"NO! B-Because It's a bright and sunny color like his personality."

"While I still don't see what YOU see in him, I'm not here to judge, so let's move on."

"Oh... ok."

"I don't know him personally so I don't know what you would talk to him about, so I'd say just wing it. Now the most important thing is the end. Ask him if he's doing anything after lunch. If he is then see if you can join him, if not then think of something you can do together."

"Hanabi... how do you know so much about dating?"

"When I'm not training with father I watch Teen Shinobi on the TV! This kind of stuff happens all the time... or at least it does on the tv."

"I see..."

"Well I've helped you all I can sister! The rest is up to you... tell me how it goes tomorrow." Hanabi said before leaving Hinata's room.

"I hope our date goes well together Naruto-kun." Hinata said to her Naruto plushy before blushing and giving it a kiss. "Maybe I'll know what the real thing feels like tomorrow." Just the thought of it made her pass out into a blissfull sleep.

**(With Naruto again.)**

"Thanks for the lunch Ero-sennin!"

"Yeah no problem kid. I'm lucky I have plenty of money left over from my mission days or you might have sent me to the poor house."

"Hehe."

"Hey Tsumaki, is the kid's stuff ready yet?"

"Yup, have them right here." The man said before placing a crimson cloak with black flames along the bottom on the counter, and the leaf headband sporting a new orange cloth on it.

"SWEET!" Naruto yelled as he looked as the coat and quickly pulled it on before tying on his orange headband that was a bit too long and the ends of the cloth fell slightly past his shoulders. "The coat is a little big, but I'll grow into it!" The coat being only an inch from the ground.

Jiraiya smirked for a moment. _You look just like him Naruto._

"Alright well that will be 89,975 Ryo for the clothing, coat, and the cloth piece for the headband." Tsumaki said with a smile.

"Here's 200,000 for when he needs any of them fixed." Jiraya said as he handed the man a check.

Tsumaki's smile just widened. "Of course."

"Come on Naruto, let's go."

**xXxXxXx**

"Get a good night's sleep kid. I'll see before your big date."

"Alright. Thanks again for the clothes sensei!"

"Oh so now I'm sensei, huh? Didn't know your price was a measly 200k Ryo."

"No you'll always be Ero-sennin, but I'll promise to only call you that when your being a perv."

*Sigh* "Good enough I suppose. Night Gaki." Jiraiya said before leaping out of the window.

"I HAVE A DOOR YOU KNOW!" Naruto shouted out.

"NOT MY STYLE!" A voice replied.

"Whatever." Naruto turned off the lights and went right to sleep.

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**AN - **Hope you liked it! Please leave a review if you did =D. Chapter 3 will be the date AND as an added bonus I'll make an alternate ending to chapter three with 'Road to Ninja' Hinata. Damn she's sexy. Blatant fanservice movie FTW. Kishimoto you have redeemed yourself in my eyes by making Naru-Hina official. Even if it's all just a giant tsukuyomi. I feel as if I'm being trolled... but I'm not exactly mad.

**PS. - **The picture of the demon wind shuriken is my version of the Namikaze clan symbol. I'm not exactly what one would call an artist so it's not that great but hey, at least I tried!


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